My gaze falls upon you, and I cannot tear it away. I wish to claw at my eyes till they expunge your existence, you are so beautiful, so pure, so kempt. I am too, but unlike you, in every way. I feel you besides me, tethered to me as you tether me to you. I hear your laughter, from a distance, it is often and loud. Your scent lingers, in the vestments, in the chambers and now, even outside. It remains pleasant, unbearably so.

I see myself through your eyes and I cannot help but look away. Your look at me, with unbridled adoration and infinite patience. Your arms, always open, so inviting and yet, I cannot bring myself to step closer. Your warmth, so lulling, your sound, so pleasing, your scent, so fragrant, so clean, and it maims me further.

I hold my breath as you pass me by, searching for me. You presence persists, even as I retire. My name on your lips, so sweet, so gentle, but I do not call out to you. I clench my jaw, even as my voice rises in my throat. I bite my cheek but it does not die down. I open my mouth, but you are gone.

As I sit, I see you in my periphery, but you are no longer there. I close my eyes and I cannot remember your face, so like mine but completely different. I search through pictures, but it is not your likeness. I sift through your possessions but find nothing. I am all that remains.

I count the stars, but so few remain, I make short work of it. I wander somedays. I dream of you as I sleep, but no longer wake to your face. It feels nice, I think, almost liberating.

And then, one day, I see you. You do not recognize me, but I do you. Just as I was free of you, I have found you once more. I bite my cheek till I bleed, but it doesn’t work. We meet more often and I see you more. You’ve changed your clothes, and your words don’t sound the same. Your hands are different too, calloused and firmer.

I hover around till you start to see me. I see myself through your eyes and I cannot look away. I am found.